Friday, May 30, 2008

Hayden's Story

I love birthing stories. And it seems us ladies love to tell them. So this is Hayden's story, complete with pictures. Enough pictures that you could probably skip the narrative and still get the idea if you become bored :)

I had my doctor's appointment Wednesday morning and told him I was not interested in being induced. I've always felt it was better to let your body do its thing. With that being said, I was super anxious to have this over with since J had a week off school and it would be convenient to not waste it waiting around. He and I debated back and forth that night whether we should go ahead and schedule it but I couldn't get up the nerve to do it.

The next day I (luckily) had some friends over and errands to run at the mall. So I showered, did my hair and makeup. That all worked out nicely :) Around noon I realized I hadn't felt Hayden move. This was unusual for her so I laid down and pushed on my belly trying to get her to respond. My doc told me I should feel her about 10 times an hour and if not, to lay down another hour and count again. Lay down for two hours? With a toddler? Yeah right. So we took off for the mall where they have a great indoor play place and I could sit and count. It had been a good three hours since I'd felt anything, even after a lot of prodding, so I called J and the doctor. We went straight to the ER to put me on a monitor. I felt silly when her heart rate looked great the second they hooked me up. Silly but relieved.

About seven minutes into it the monitor showed a contraction and Hayden's heart didn't respond well. Then it happened again. The tech said "I don't think you're going home today," and left to call my doctor. I was not ready to hear that. After all my impatience, I was not ready to have this baby today. It didn't feel right. I felt like they were overreacting and I felt like I didn't have control. It was all happening fast and nobody asked my opinion. Looking back, it was the right thing to do. You can't send someone home after seeing a baby's heart rate drop like that. And rather than keep me hooked up to the monitor for four more hours, they hooked me up to pitocin and I had her four hours later :)

And I thought Abbey's labor and delivery was easy. This one was a cinch! An hour into it they asked it I wanted the epidural. I hesitated, thinking it was too early--I'd gone 12 hours with Abbey before getting it. But the contractions were intense and they said if I waited too much longer I might be too late. My worst nightmare! I was ready to go natural with Abbey but I was not planning nor was I prepared to do it this time. So bring it on. Then it didn't work. For an hour. I started flipping out--this had happened to several of my friends and I was not ready to do this on my own. I begged them to turn off the pit to slow things down--just long enough to get the epidural under control. Not that the contractions were unbearable but I knew what was coming up would be. They just sent some more happy drugs down the tube and I was good to go :)

Then it was go time. You should have seen me, I was on cloud nine and almost giddy. This whole thing had seemed wrong, so completely unnatural. But it was working. Perfectly. I was relieved and excited and laughing and ready to go. I think it was contagious because my nurse and my doctor all got excited and you would have thought we were having a party in there. Four pushes. They told me to stop and she just came.

I cried when I watched the birthing part in Juno a few weeks ago, so I'm sure it was no surprise that I couldn't stop the tears for my own.
Is there anything better? They put her right up on my belly. Some people think that's gross--I didn't think anything. I just looked. And cried.
And I guess looking back this might be a face only a mother could fall in love with at that second. :) Covered in...whatever that stuff is called. Totally swollen. I thought there was nothing more beautiful.
The rest is a blur. By the time I thought to call people, it was too late to call. Luckily our parents are in a different time zone so we could let them know. I suppose it was for the better-I didn't feel obligated to start the phone calls and could just sit and look at our miracle.
I couldn't wait for this one to come the next morning. And she hasn't taken her hands and her lips off her since.
Our college buddy, Kyler, came up from Little Rock to spend Memorial Day weekend with us. I guess he got more than he bargained for since he got put on Abbey Duty. He did great--he bought her this 'I'm The Big Sister' t-shirt and her pony tails stayed in for a good half hour :)

On Saturday afternoon J was packing up my things to leave the hospital, I was nursing Hayden and Abbey was climbing all over me. I think I started having a panic attack--what did I get myself into? I'm constantly chasing after Abbey before she falls off a jungle gym or eats a stranger's lunch at the park. How many times am I going to have to abandon Hayden to save Abbey from provoking an angry duck? (Yes, it happens.) Am I going to be one of those parents that resorts to leashing their child in the airport?

For now my hubby and my mom are home to ease the transition. So I'll worry about it later. People have done this before afterall. Maybe it will be survival mode for a while. Maybe it will be awesome. Probably both.

I'll leave you with some yummy neck rolls to ogle.

25 comments:

val said...

I'm so happy for you Ashley. Thanks for sharing you story. We ladies do love the stories!
Did you hire a pro photographer or what? Could Justin be behind all those amazing shots? They are to die for. And I'm loving those neck rolls from Utah!!! Yum.

"All you need is love" said...

What beautiful photos! I am so jealous you have such great pictures for the future. I am just not very good at that. What a gorgeous baby and you look so great. Good luck in the next few weeks and I'll call you soon.
We love ya!

Ashley said...

Justin did take most of the pictures--his are always better than mine, it kills me. And my great friend who took Abbey for us that night snapped a few as well for us. I just wish we had these of our hospital days with Abbey! Oh well.

kelly said...

beautiful!
snuggly
precious
sweet

beautiful.

jayne said...

She is beautiful Ashley! I love the grumpy eyes fresh out of the womb, kind of like "what the heck did they just drag me out of". I'm sure you're doing great with 2.
It is okay to lock yourself in a closet with the baby to feed her when you are desperate. I'm pretty sure I've done that before. Now I just lock myself in there....

Raquel said...

Ashley you are going to enjoy being a mother of 2. This is the only way you can truely apprecitate how EASY it is to be a mother of 1. What a beautiful way to begin summer.

Van Tress Ohana said...

Congrats!! sorry this is a little late! Thanks for the story- I love birthing stories too. Your daughters (is that weird to hear that?) they are SO beautiful!

Rebecca S said...

Congratulations Ashley, I love the story and the pictures. I remember that panic attack feeling as soon as I got home with Max, I wanted to go back to the hospital! Luckily, it gets easier. I'm sure Abbey will be an awesome big sister.

Julie said...

Love the story of how Hayden came to the world. She's beautiful. And now you have two beautiful girls.

A & C said...

Pace fam,

You guys are awesome and the kids look fantastic! Hope you're doing well. FYI, we're heading to Provo this fall - BYU MBA.

love,

Andy, Camey, Jack & Almost Baby Girl(July 15th) Brim

Melissa said...

We are so happy for you guys! She is gorgeous! You will do fine with 2 kids, just remember patience and don't be hard on yourself. It took a good 2-3 months for life to feel normal again for me. Take your time and it will be great. Involve Abbey in everything and she will feel like your special helper, which really helped with Adalin when Kira came along. Good luck!

Bradshaw Family said...

Everyone looks great. We don't doubt that you will both be great parents to those two beautiful little girls. It was fun to hear your story. My third was not anything pleasant to share. My second was that easy though. Funny how that works! Enjoy every minute of it.

Chelsea said...

love loved your story! and really you are probably the most beautiful "just gave birth" girl ever! :)

Tif said...

These pictures are amazing and priceless!! I really think the one of you will be a treasure to little Hayden when she gets older! :)

Jodie said...

Thanks for sharing your story and the beautiful pictures. I can't wait to see her and you. I am sure that you will do just fine with 2. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call! I just love those pictures- they are so captivating and moving. I feel like I was right there with you!

cacrowell said...

Smokes--I'm way out of tune!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! What a great story. You're pretty tough to have wanted to birth natural with Abbey--I'm such a wuss and will totally want the epidural. What a scary feeling to not feel anything--go you for heading to the doc and it's a miracle you did!!!

cacrowell said...

PS--your pictures are AMAZING!! Did you take that with your Eplh? They are perfect.

Chrissy said...

What a great story! I loved reading it. You have such a beautiful family!!

Rachel said...

Thanks for giving me a reason to cry today, as if I need any reason to cry these days. I'm expecting baby number three in November (Crazy hun) and I love your perspective on motherhood. It makes me cry and makes me glad I was willing to have one more. Keep soaking it in :)

Nicole said...

What a beautiful post! Thanks for making motherhood so lovely and inspiring. The look on Abbey's face gives me confidence that having a second baby would be the best thing to happen to Bridget. Hope we get to see all of you soon.

Makenzie&David said...

I love good baby stories! I totally cried. Congrats and good luck with 2!

Tristie or Dax said...

there aren't words to describe birth. but you somehow did it perfectly. love the photo of you looking excited and in love with that baby. And it IS total survival mode for the first months after mom leaves, but all the sweet little moments make up for it. Lastly, you are one LUCKY DOG to have looked so beautiful and put together in these pics. Seriously. Lucky. And why didn't you have to sport the oh-so-flattering hospital mumu? Again, lucky. Love you. Love Hayden!

hayley said...

What a cool story! Thanks for sharing:) As for having two, somehow you just start to let go a little and it all works out. Keep enjoying those yummy neck rolls!

Aubrey said...

I love that story. I hope those two girls make you enjoy life so much more! We are so happy again for you guys. ANd we miss you!

Kimberly said...

It's true. Loved the story. Who took all those perfect pictures of you and your baby!?! They almost make me want to do it again. Hmmm, maybe not quite yet.