I had my doctor's appointment Wednesday morning and told him I was not interested in being induced. I've always felt it was better to let your body do its thing. With that being said, I was super anxious to have this over with since J had a week off school and it would be convenient to not waste it waiting around. He and I debated back and forth that night whether we should go ahead and schedule it but I couldn't get up the nerve to do it.
The next day I (luckily) had some friends over and errands to run at the mall. So I showered, did my hair and makeup. That all worked out nicely :) Around noon I realized I hadn't felt Hayden move. This was unusual for her so I laid down and pushed on my belly trying to get her to respond. My doc told me I should feel her about 10 times an hour and if not, to lay down another hour and count again. Lay down for two hours? With a toddler? Yeah right. So we took off for the mall where they have a great indoor play place and I could sit and count. It had been a good three hours since I'd felt anything, even after a lot of prodding, so I called J and the doctor. We went straight to the ER to put me on a monitor. I felt silly when her heart rate looked great the second they hooked me up. Silly but relieved.
About seven minutes into it the monitor showed a contraction and Hayden's heart didn't respond well. Then it happened again. The tech said "I don't think you're going home today," and left to call my doctor. I was not ready to hear that. After all my impatience, I was not ready to have this baby today. It didn't feel right. I felt like they were overreacting and I felt like I didn't have control. It was all happening fast and nobody asked my opinion. Looking back, it was the right thing to do. You can't send someone home after seeing a baby's heart rate drop like that. And rather than keep me hooked up to the monitor for four more hours, they hooked me up to pitocin and I had her four hours later :)
And I thought Abbey's labor and delivery was easy. This one was a cinch! An hour into it they asked it I wanted the epidural. I hesitated, thinking it was too early--I'd gone 12 hours with Abbey before getting it. But the contractions were intense and they said if I waited too much longer I might be too late. My worst nightmare! I was ready to go natural with Abbey but I was not planning nor was I prepared to do it this time. So bring it on. Then it didn't work. For an hour. I started flipping out--this had happened to several of my friends and I was not ready to do this on my own. I begged them to turn off the pit to slow things down--just long enough to get the epidural under control. Not that the contractions were unbearable but I knew what was coming up would be. They just sent some more happy drugs down the tube and I was good to go :)
Then it was go time. You should have seen me, I was on cloud nine and almost giddy. This whole thing had seemed wrong, so completely unnatural. But it was working. Perfectly. I was relieved and excited and laughing and ready to go. I think it was contagious because my nurse and my doctor all got excited and you would have thought we were having a party in there. Four pushes. They told me to stop and she just came.
I cried when I watched the birthing part in Juno a few weeks ago, so I'm sure it was no surprise that I couldn't stop the tears for my own.
Is there anything better? They put her right up on my belly. Some people think that's gross--I didn't think anything. I just looked. And cried.
And I guess looking back this might be a face only a mother could fall in love with at that second. :) Covered in...whatever that stuff is called. Totally swollen. I thought there was nothing more beautiful.
The rest is a blur. By the time I thought to call people, it was too late to call. Luckily our parents are in a different time zone so we could let them know. I suppose it was for the better-I didn't feel obligated to start the phone calls and could just sit and look at our miracle.
I couldn't wait for this one to come the next morning. And she hasn't taken her hands and her lips off her since.
Our college buddy, Kyler, came up from Little Rock to spend Memorial Day weekend with us. I guess he got more than he bargained for since he got put on Abbey Duty. He did great--he bought her this 'I'm The Big Sister' t-shirt and her pony tails stayed in for a good half hour :)
On Saturday afternoon J was packing up my things to leave the hospital, I was nursing Hayden and Abbey was climbing all over me. I think I started having a panic attack--what did I get myself into? I'm constantly chasing after Abbey before she falls off a jungle gym or eats a stranger's lunch at the park. How many times am I going to have to abandon Hayden to save Abbey from provoking an angry duck? (Yes, it happens.) Am I going to be one of those parents that resorts to leashing their child in the airport?
For now my hubby and my mom are home to ease the transition. So I'll worry about it later. People have done this before afterall. Maybe it will be survival mode for a while. Maybe it will be awesome. Probably both.
I'll leave you with some yummy neck rolls to ogle.