Tuesday, October 30, 2007

"I'm Not a Witch, I'm Your Wife!"

I'll Call Ya Lata On The Night

Justin has a lot of old friends that I just adore. Wil is one of the good ones. They were mission buddies in the Dominican Republic and this picture says it all:

Shoot! I can't find it in the dumping ground we call a storage room.

Anyway, Wil puts on a rebel front but he is a sweetheart (He'd be so mad if he knew I wrote that for all the internet world to see). He and his wife, Angie, are the most generous people I know. When we were engaged they asked if we needed anything for the house, like a TV, a DVD player, furniture. I thought they were kidding. I'll never forget them walking into our reception with nightstands. We still have them, they are beautiful. But most of all I love the effort they put in to staying in touch.

Wil had some business in Kansas City so drove over to see us for the weekend. Abbey wouldn't even look at him at first, but by the end of the night she was laughing, flirting, showing him her dance moves.
Wil turned my baby into a thug....

Monday, October 29, 2007

Tis the Season

For SCARY stories. Here is the most frightening experience of my life (although, almost getting Banner's truck hit by a train is a close second) But this one is more Halloween-ish:

About this time, seven years ago I was a senior in high school. My parents took off to Europe for the month so it was just me and the younger sibs. Yes, I was THAT trustworthy :) Not much of a party animal. One Friday night I was hanging out at home because I had a competition early the next morning. My friend, Tif, and her date, I think his name was Austin, stopped by after going to a corn maze or haunted house. As they were pulling out of the driveway all my electrictiy went out. I ran out to stop them because I had no idea where a breaker box would be and boys inherently know that stuff, right?

Tif and I went inside while Austin went to find the box. He was gone for a while and said he couldn't find it. I remembered there was a box in a basement bedroom so we headed down there when all the lights in the house started flickering on and off. I wasn't too freaked out until we heard pounding. Everywhere! I thought my house was surrounded by people (murderous people) pounding on the walls and windows. We ran around and locked all the doors and I grabbed a barstool to get the candles above the fridge.

As I closed the cupboard I remember looking down and seeing someone just standing there, in the doorway of the music room, about three feet away. It was one of those moments your heart stops. I shake even remembering it now. We were frozen looking at each other in the dark when the figure says "Ashley, what's going on?" My little brother! Sheesh! Don't walk up on people like that! I thought he was asleep. Actually, by this point, I'd kind-of forgotten all about him. Sorry, Collin.

The pounding started again and someone was trying to get into the music room door. I realized they were running on my roof and that was what was causing the pounding everywhere. Less scary than the thought of thirty people pounding on my house, but still chilling. I grabbed the phone and we all huddled in the dining room--the only room with no direct access to a window or outside door. I was hysterical. I called my neighborhood surrogate pop, Brad and told him what was going on. A minute later, he pulls up in his big truck with...a hockey stick! Oh, I love it. There was this look on his face, like he was not the man to be messing with. I mentioned there was someone on the deck trying the door so he and Austin ran back there. I heard some yelling, mostly Brad, so I ran into the backyard. I'll never forget this pathetic boy in the fetal position screaming "I know Ashley! I know Ashley! We're friends." Yeah, some friend. Meanwhile, Brad, a very strong, intimidating Canadian, is yelling "What are you doing here! Do you know who's house this is?" That's right. Jordan Folsom. You dog. I felt bad, his mouth was bleeding. Which I'm pretty sure was a result of him jumping off my deck when he heard Brad coming--and I'm also pretty sure Brad did NOT hit him. Just to clarify.

The next day, he and Mr. Nathan Bond thought they were pretty funny. It took me a few days to find the humor. They told me they were going to try and break in after they figured out a few weeks earlier they could shimy up the house and climb onto my deck. Hello! I was so scared, I honestly would have grabbed some knives to protect myself. Boys are so dumb. Oh! And I later found out that while Austin was 'looking for the breaker box' he came across the boys and knew they were just joking around. You would think he would have mentioned that when Tif and I were in my dining room crying and calling for backup. Boys are so dumb.

Friday, October 19, 2007

So Lovely

I bet you wish you had a girl...

Doesn't it look like she opened a purse full of shine?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Arizona Love

Back from my trip, learned a few things along the way: (I was babysitting my 5-year old niece and 19 month old nephew)

1) Don't try and switch up the menu plan mom left. Bean Quesidillas? Ravioli?!? What is this stuff? Keep it simple, lady.

2) Abbey is bold. OK, I knew it before, but it's never been tested to this extent. Her cousin has three months, 12 pounds, and a good three inches on her, but she doesn't back down.

3) Which leads me to baby injuries. I didn't know they could be so vicious and inventive--where do they learn this? The most significant ones being a chomped finger, a purple nurple, and a good sized rock to the noggin.

4) A five year old misses her mommy. A one year old misses his mommy. A 24-year old misses her mommy. We all miss our mommies in a week like this.

5) Family rules are great but modification is sometimes necessary. I wasn't feeling well so went to take a bath (big jetted tub...couldn't help myself). After about three minutes of bliss came a kid fullspeed to open the door to find it, dun dun dun. Locked. "Hey! We don't lock doors in this family!" Kid, you don't want to see your aunt naked. I just saved you some emotional scarring, trust me. This led to insistent knocking for the next five minutes I lasted.

6) A house gets ten times messier, four times as fast with three times the kids. Explain that math to me.

7) And I'm glad I learned this late in the trip. I was walking home from the neighbors late one night and he asked if I would like a flashlight. I jokingly said "Oh, rough neighborhood?" and he, in all seriousness, said "Well, you've got coyotes, scorpions, tarantulas, hyenas, and lots of snakes this time of year." All right, I'll take the flashlight then. And a double enforced jeep, if you please.

8) I L.O.V.E., love Skype. OK, this is more of an endorsement than a lesson so take note. Skype is a free program you download on your computer and acts like instant message, except with video conferencing. We made all our family download it and buy cameras and it is awesome. J's parents are in Argentina and it still works great. (Barbs, you have an awesome camera and microphone built in to your imac, try it!) One night I was lonely and J called and just talked to me while I cleaned and sang Abbey 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'. It was like he was sitting in the room...with his speech and movements a bit delayed :)

So when you DO download skype, and you know you should, let me know your username so I can say 'hi' when I see you on.

Monday, October 8, 2007

I'm Baaack

Took my last CPA test this afternoon, so it's back to an audit-free life. But I will be MIA for another week because I'm flying to Arizona on Wednesday. In the meantime, a little Abbey treat for your viewing pleasure. I love her pose at the end of the song--I just wish I wouldn't have laughed and interrupted her concentration. I wonder how long she would have held it...