Monday, June 13, 2011

What was THAT?!

So about an hour ago I'm trying to entertain the kids outside and realize I need to feed Bennett. I take Hayden inside with me because I don't trust her outside and try to get her settled with activities and food so I can nurse. Bennett's almost done, almost asleep. Hayden waddles in because she just peed her pants on the couch. I quickly lay Bennett down as gently as I can so he'll stay asleep and I can take care of the pee situation. Just then I look outside and Abbey and her friend are throwing pool toys into the road so they can run and save them. I'm uncomfortable with them being outside alone anyway, so that does it. In the thirty seconds it takes me to gather their toys and clean up some sidewalk chalk, Hayden has gone in to find Bennett. She can not be trusted around that baby. Truly, it is a threat to his life. So he is awake and crying now. I grab Hayden so fast she drops her pancake on the floor and is in tears because I scared her. Bennett's in tears and needs to be calmed back to sleep. Then Abbey is in tears because something happened with her friend and a new toy.

So what I want to know is, IS THIS MY LIFE NOW?!

My New Bag, Baby

When my cousin, Allyn, mentioned on her blog she had finished up a bag for a certain V.I.P., I dared not hope it would show up in my mail box. (I hardly consider myself a vip) I got a kick out of the package that showed up last week, especially since this was exactly what I was wearing when I opened it up:


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I think she nailed my style!

Thank you, Allyn!! I am completely blown away by your mad sewing skills.
(Did I mention she was on her way to the hospital to meet her SIXTH baby when she finished this up?)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Blessed Baby

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We took this picture about two minutes before the biggest tantrum any of my kids have ever thrown. Epic. And we won't be winning any parenting awards soon for how we dealt with it. I hope that isn't how I remember Bennett's blessing day :) Is there an emoticon to show a weak smile? Something like this-- :? Eh, that looks more like half a mustache.

I hope I remember the sweet words Justin used to bless our son. I want to remember that we made it to church on time without the typical crazy rush in the morning. And the sweet lady who took the time to write the prayer down for me even though we've never actually met. And our friends who were there to support us on the special day. And that Bennett miraculously fit into his blessing outfit, I thought it would just be too big. And, simply, Bennett at six weeks. I never want to forget how he looks and feels right now.


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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Since You've Been Home

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Our first few days home were...emotional. Luckily, by kid three, Justin and I expected the tears and laughed through each episode. It's ridiculous, really. All I'd have to say to start a crying meltdown was, "I feel like...." even if it was just to say, "I feel like nachos tonight" or "I feel like it would be faster to get on the freeway". Just starting a sentence with 'i feel' was enough. J thought it was hilarious, which would start me laughing, and we got through it.

Enough about me, how's the baby? That little man! (seriously, he kinda looks like a little old man) He makes me want to have more!! He's what my brother-in-law, Jer, would call, 'The Trick'. You know, the easy baby that tricks you into having another :)

This is the little worried face I see on Bennett so often these days. I'd look like that too if my big sister (HAYDEN!!) was silently and sneakily trying to cut off my air supply every day.

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The next two pictures are from the rainy afternoon we brought Bennett home.

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She figured out right away the joy of snuggling a newborn and enjoying a show. This is a whole new experience--having a baby and a sibling old enough to hold him for a time. Now if I could just get my hands on an eight year old....

Perfect! My sister, Koryn, flew out for a week with her daughter, Whitney.
This picture cracks me up: Whitney navigating the capriciousness of the two-year old and Abbey sulking in the background.

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My beautiful sister is the greatest; the greatest conversationalist, the greatest cook, the greatest baby snuggler. I mentioned something on facebook about her being in town and my cousin, Jen, wrote, "You got Koryn?!" Yes. Yes, I got Koryn. :) I started feeling down days before she left, just knowing the visit was coming to an end. Thank you, thank you Koryn!! Now come back :)

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Did you know it's taken me a week and a half to do this post? I kept wondering why I can't express my thoughts at all right now. I wanted to jot down what life has been like the past few weeks and I can't. Because time right now is in little chunks, small bits of time in between interruptions and satisfying demands, especially since the accident. My mind is a bit off. In fact, two of the last three shirts I've worn were inside out all day.

But some quick things I want to remember:

--Abbey giving Bennett hugs and kisses every morning and predictably saying, "Mom! Isn't he the cutest baby you ever had?"

--J showing the girls clips of the Royal Wedding and all the questions that came with it: "Is she a real princess?" "Can she talk?" "So...is there a witch?"

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--Resting Bennett's head in the crook of my neck while I read or watch a show. He fits so perfectly right now.

--Him falling asleep in about two seconds if I put him in a baby sling and carry him around the house.

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--Oh. That face.

--The girls clinging to me just a moment longer than usual when we hug.

--Hayden thinking I feed Bennett through my bicep and insisting she can help out and feed him with her arm as well.

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--Overhearing J tell someone why we named him Bennett. According to him, we named him after a sweet old man he used to visit and play checkers with at a nursing home he went to weekly in college. What?!

--Feeling a lot of love from and for my awesome husband. You don't realize how much someone does around the house until you are frantically trying to cover their responsibilities. It's hard for me to see him in pain and it's hard for him to see me...crazy. At the end of the day, we almost simultaneously say, "I'm so sorry, that was a hard day, are you ok?" Man, I love that man.

Just When We Were Figuring It Out

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awesome.


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When J came home before midnight on his volleyball night, I knew something was up. He plays hard and sometimes playing hard results in a high ankle sprain and an avulsion fracture of the ankle.


so awesome.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

His Baby Story

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Even though I felt all along this boy would hold out a little longer than the girls, when it boiled down to it, I was surprised to go past my due date. My doctor scheduled an induction for the next week and assured me through my reluctance that if we waited beyond that, there would be other complications.




Tuesday night was uncomfortable. But by that point, most nights were uncomfortable. I had washed all our linens that evening, so thought I had exerted myself and that was it. But at 6:00 a.m. I got up to use the bathroom and was, uh....a little wet. Just enough to make me call triage but not enough to soak through to my bed, whew! Clean-up crisis averted. Justin was already at the hospital, so I gave him a call (and was given instructions to HUSTLE), then made the calls to arrange for the girls.




I think I was feeling about every emotion on the spectrum at that moment. Stress that my house was drowning in a sea of laundry, disappointed that I would be coming home to that, absolutely ecstatic that I got to experience this hectic morning and avoid the induction. Then as I drove myself into the hospital, all the nervous, excited, anxious feelings that come when you are in for such a big day.




The hospital was packed, delivery rooms were occupied, and after a few hours, they started preparing the triage room for the chance I might just deliver in there. Everyone was apologetic, but I was just thrilled I was getting the staff I wanted (we'd been checking out the call schedule for a few weeks!) My OB (who rarely delivers anymore, she just does prenatal and c-sections) happened to be there for a surgery and dropped in. I think she had something to do with getting me out of there and into a great room. At the time, I honestly didn't care, but it was nice to be out of that clinical triage room. Then she spent the afternoon in my room, waiting and chatting with us. It was so fun to have her there for the delivery.




As for the delivery, I'm not sure what to say and where the story crosses into too-much-info-for-a-blog-thanks! :) It was incredible, I loved it. So, sooo much work, but incredible. This hospital uses a significantly lower concentration of epidural drugs than I've had before and it made for a very cool experience. I felt present. I don't know how else to describe it. I loved experiencing delivery this way--a lot more sensation but never crossing into the realm of unbearable pain.




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Then he was here. And as drained as I was after all that work.




Sadly, I don't recall my emotions at the time. I honestly think I was too tired to take note. His head had been a bit turned and the cord was wrapped and holding him back. Everyone in the room was making weight predictions of high eight or nine pounds by how long it was taking. The little seven and half pounder was just in there a little crooked :) But I do remember wanting him in my arms, wanting to look over every part of that little body. And not wanting anything to distract from those plans.




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I let Justin take the lead on naming Bennett this time. I was pretty bossy about the other ones. We had some great friends in college (the Bennetts...obviously) who we just adored. It's been years since we've been able to see them, but Justin brought up the name again a few months ago. We would toss around other names, but both kept coming back to it. So Mr. Bennett it is!


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Abbey fell in love right away. What a fun age for her to have a real, baby doll. She was looking at his fingers, noticed his hospital band and asked "How much did he cost?" I said, "I don't know, what does it say?" She rattled off the 15 digit code on the band--ha ha! Pretty pricey! Hayden was very curious about his toes and set to making sure all ten were accounted for.








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My family circus :)



I think I'm one of the few people who never wants to leave the hospital. Time stands still and other life distractions are gone for a bit. We got home around lunch time and the kids were already a little off from having me gone for two days. Hayden spilled an entire glass of milk she insisted on having without a lid; J looked at me, my eyes started filling with tears, and I mouthed, "Take Me Back!" That's so funny to think of now that the hormones have calmed down! Maybe it is that I'm not expected to be back in the full swings of life quite yet, but things seem to be going just fine. I am loving this little boy and he is getting all the affection he can handle from this household of girls. Towards the end of the night, J will say, "OK, I'm taking my turn now, give me my son." Love this family we're starting.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Brand New

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Bennett Justin Pace
Wednesday, April 13th
7 lbs 8 oz



We're getting deserved flak for not posting pictures and in some cases, informing loved friends and family, of our new, beautiful son. Son. That feels strange to even type.

I feel like we are just keeping our heads above water to make Bennett feel welcomed and secure in our home. Every minute not spent doing that is spent making sure his two sisters feel secure in our growing family. Let the juggling act begin!

He is a wonder to me; such a perfect, healthy, beautiful baby. And his arrival could not have been more ideal. Details to come :)